Tuning My Mood

On a mood scale of 0-10, my baseline is a 3.

For reference:
0= low mood, low energy, unfocused, unmotivated
10= happy/joyful, energized, focused, motivated

Over the years I’ve developed an elaborate, well-practiced system to get myself to 6-8 (somewhat consistently).

If I’m honest with myself, being a highly sensitive person is a big part of the reason I have a low baseline. Yeah, anxiety and depression are part of the equation too- but maybe not as important as my HSP trait. Many of the activities that tune me down are because I’m HSP. BUT….Many of my “tune up” experiences get a bonus boost from being an HSP - because I feel all the good stuff more intensely.

I work with clients on these types of strategies all the time but I’ve never taken the time to write out my practices like this.

A metaphor I use often is that my brain is like a sound mixing board. The mood chemicals in the mind (serotonin, oxytocin, dopamine) are the different dials and sliders. When I make choices throughout the day, I can move dials up or down and turn the knobs that change my mood…my motivation, focus and connection with others.

I know I don’t have complete control over my “mixing board” brain but it helps me to feel like I have some influence over the brain chemistry. Science supports this idea too….and over the years it seems to be true for many of the clients.

I’ve also realized that since I’m starting low on the scale (3), I’ve developed lots of strategies because I need to turn up lots of dials. If someone has a higher baseline (say a 5), they could likely have a much smaller, less complex system of supports.

2 important things:

1) There are many tools that I don’t use (currently) that are very helpful too- like medication, acupuncture, movement practices (yoga), therapy modalities, and many more. I’ve tried tons of things over the years and many of them have had seasons where they were helping but some just didn’t work for me at all. So find the things that work for you and then be open to changing it up too.

2) Something that turns me up might turn someone else down so we have to find what works for us.

I forced myself to label each thing as a Turn Up or Turn Down because I don’t think there is anything that is truly neutral.

When my strategies are working and I’m really using my skills, I’m close to an 8 on that mood scale. But if I stop using my strats or slip out of sync with my values, I drop down the scale pretty quickly.

Here are some of the things that work for me right now.

Turn me up

• Regular bedtime & wake-up time

• 15-30 minutes of quiet in the morning while I drink my coffee

• Consistent meal times & not going more than 4 hours without food.

• Balancing food groups in my meals. Especially fat and protein for me.

• Light: Daylight bulbs in the house & window/sunlight when possible

• Outside time: 10 min is enough, ideally 3 x day but more if I can

• Being in Nature- a short walk in a forest or park within the city will do but being outdoors for hours would be a major boost (camping, hiking, etc.).

• Psychotherapy (talk therapy, art therapy, etc.)

• Playing with or snuggling with my dog

• Gentle music (songs that make me smile or make me want to dance give me bonus boost)

• Walking outside (treadmill won’t work for me)

• Activities that build strength (weights, moving heavy things)

• Scheduling my day so I know what to expect and I don’t have to make too many decisions to make the day flow.

• Supporting or encouraging the people I care about

• Serving people - cooking for others, thoughtful gestures, etc.

• Noticing and naming what I’m grateful for in this moment

• Mindful moments of noticing beauty, interesting things or curiosities

• Breathing

• Stretching

• Creativity (sketching, painting, baking)

• Sunsets and sunrises

• Listening to others’ stories

• Learning something new and interesting

• Intellectual or contemplative conversations

• Self-compassion and self-kindness (especially when I’m struggling or make mistakes)

• Movies: comedies, feel good stories, documentaries, animation.

• Art: looking or engaging with art or talking with artists

• Interacting with wild living creatures (bugs, animals, etc.)

• Leaning into difficult thoughts rather than trying to get rid of them

• Laughing - especially with close friends or family

• Hugs (safe hugs)

• Feeling valued - when someone delights in me. Yes, I can delight in myself but I get extra “turn up” when it comes from others (especially people closest to me).

• Giving gifts to others (of service or meaningful gifts)

• Limited screen time (including social media). With all the other things I need to do, this takes care of itself usually.

Turn me down
*It’s not that I can’t handle these or have to completely remove them from my life, they just have a cost for me. I don’t want to avoid these experiences either. I just need to minimize them or do more “turn up” activities to balance things out.

• Too many responsibilities at once

• Disappointing people

• Feeling alone or unsupported

• Set shifting (changing tasks or focus too often or too quickly)

• Sensational news stories (e.g. nightly news or click bait stories)

• Tragic real life stories about strangers

• Movies: Intense dramas, horror, psychological thrillers, sad movies, intense documentaries.

• Being criticized (I try to be good about taking criticism but it drains me)

• Being cold or extremely hot

• Being in a cluttered or dirty environment

• Too many things happening at once

• Shallow conversations or small talk

• Materialistic activities (shopping, extravagance)

• Loud or aggressive people

• Lots of people (crowds)

• Persistent annoying sounds

• Strong smells

• Uncomfortable clothes or shoes

• Criticizing myself

• Unwanted physical touch

• Intense energy of other people nearby

• Intrusive thoughts and then trying to control or get rid of the thoughts increases the energy drain

• Poor sleep or not enough sleep

• Mindless screen time (unhelpful tv, internet surfing, social media)

I wanted to reflect a little on escape strategies also. Many of my Tune-Up activities can easily become escape strategies (movies, music, learning, creativity, helping others). I catch myself “escaping” when I slip into doing things I usually enjoy mindlessly just to pass the time or get too “busy” with all the great things in life (tricky line). When I start to feel disconnected from myself and not fully present, I know I need to slow down. Escape isn’t bad. It’s just easy to let escape takeover my life. Then I end up losing connection with myself and what really matters to me.